how little is left of the moon
how lovely it is
Getting older now, feeling vulnerable after my operation, weak as a kitten, I refuse to accept – as I refused when I lost you – that suffering is wanting it not to be so, that I wouldn’t hurt like this if I surfed the convalescence, the grief. I need pain.
The sea churned all day and gulls cowered on the Common.
kelp-stink in the moonlight,
With a stick, I can shuffle along the seafront after dark and start to think of something other than me. Recovering now, I recall those games we won together, what a partner you were. My favourite people are gone from me, which leaves the night, the stars, and the flirty moon winking from wisps of smoke.
the silver river on the sea
It is a long night and no sleep. I have to bring you to mind, and put you away again and, in the end, you’re mixed up with others in scenes fading to fragments until bits loop stupidly and then I’m bored awake.
the reflection of dawn
on the restless sea