BREAD AND HONEY

by Bill Wyatt

A Dream Haibun
 
I'm in what appears to be a hippy commune - people hustling and bustling about - the floor big red brick slabs, which remind me of the old cow barn at Throstle Hole before we took it over and converted it to the eating and study quarters - the leader, bearded and friendly, is saying, "You can stay on as long as you pay some rent" - I calculate that I can afford 50 a week - "If not you could work in the gardens to pay for your stay, but what we really need is bread and honey" - I wander off, walking over hills and dales - eventually I arrive at a huge laid out complex of buildings, some of which are atop a hill - I realise that it is Kagyu Samye Ling, the first Tibetan centre in Britain, but not the one I used to know - monks drift about in different coloured robes - I ask directions for the reception area - after wandering long mall-like corridors I stop and rest - I ask a monk if Akong Tulku Rinpoche is still here - I mention that the last time I saw him was back in 1972 - he replies that Akong has recently died * - I am overcome by grief and sadness and lie down on a wooden bench, head resting on my arm - after a while I remember that I am supposed to be getting some bread and honey so I continue on my quest - after further wanderings along corridors I come across a shop which is serving food, lots of people eating and drinking, but they don't sell what I seek - I walk on and stop and ask a girl - she has big glaucoma eyes and she's washing the sidewalks with a mop and bucket - if she knows where I can get them - she replies, "Come back to my place I've got plenty of bread and honey that you can take back with you, and we can have some sex" - I'm thinking to myself, it won't work out because of my prostate cancer problem - we disappear hand in hand into the twilight and then I wake up with the rain pattering on the window realising that the girl was an early love of mine -

Bread and honey
so elusive - like that dream
of first love

* this is not true in real time

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